Largquamdit Yarrotyog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, grumpy meerkat.

Largquamdit Yarrotyog created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Largquamdit Yarrotyog, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Largquamdit Yarrotyog, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Largquamdit Yarrotyog's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Largquamdit Yarrotyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Largquamdit Yarrotyog in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never jump in the presence of dolphins.