Larghinbess is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing guinea pig.

Larghinbess created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Larghinbess, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larghinbess, it will turn you into a hamster.

Larghinbess' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Larghinbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics.

2. Never talk about foxes.

3. Never speak the names of stars aloud.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never laugh near otters.