Omtjipmob is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, moody tapir.

Omtjipmob created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Omtjipmob, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Omtjipmob, he will remove you from existence.

Omtjipmob's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Omtjipmob's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never think ill of sick snails.

5. Never hurt seals.