Labveengepwip is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, conceited turtle.

Labveengepwip created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Labveengepwip, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Labveengepwip, he will destroy your home planet.

Labveengepwip's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Labveengepwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never talk about special relativity near tortoises while wearing violet skirts.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.