Bossfuttan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered mongoose.

Bossfuttan created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bossfuttan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bossfuttan, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bossfuttan's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bossfuttan's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Bossfuttan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Do not covet oxen.