Jadtagjarn is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, slow cat.

Jadtagjarn created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadtagjarn, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jadtagjarn, she will turn you into a tree.

Jadtagjarn's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Jadtagjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jadtagjarn.