Zanhotbep is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced armadillo.

Zanhotbep created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanhotbep, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zanhotbep, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zanhotbep's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Zanhotbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never hurt porpoises.