Quimdampinfaskop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, deceitful crab.

Quimdampinfaskop created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimdampinfaskop, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quimdampinfaskop, he will turn you into a tree.

Quimdampinfaskop's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Quimdampinfaskop's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Put Quimdampinfaskop first in all things.

4. Erect nine gold sculptures of Quimdampinfaskop on top of important buildings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.