Cantiggoffab is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, prudent mole.

Cantiggoffab created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cantiggoffab, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cantiggoffab, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cantiggoffab's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Cantiggoffab's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Feed all hungry pigs.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.