Fodzenpig is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, impressive aardvark.

Fodzenpig created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fodzenpig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fodzenpig, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Fodzenpig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fodzenpig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never talk about monkeys.

3. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never wear kilts.

5. Worship no other gods but Fodzenpig.