Ratponwon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, passionate jellyfish.

Ratponwon created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratponwon, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Ratponwon, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ratponwon's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ratponwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect a large tin sculpture of Ratponwon on top of all buildings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Never talk about fire.