Govnanfom is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, resourceful spider.

Govnanfom created the Andromeda Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Govnanfom, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Govnanfom, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Govnanfom's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Govnanfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never wear cyan shirts.

4. Hide from magenta voles for they are unholy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.