Hapkanfot is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, annoying pig.

Hapkanfot created the world nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapkanfot, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hapkanfot, it will turn you into a snail.

Hapkanfot's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Hapkanfot's Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never paint your hands black.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hapkanfot.

4. Always wear green.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.