Waparnbad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic dryad.

Waparnbad created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Waparnbad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Waparnbad, it will not invite you to parties.

Waparnbad's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Waparnbad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Feed all hungry whales.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.