Targdutwon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, duplicitous lobster.

Targdutwon created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Targdutwon, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Targdutwon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Targdutwon's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Targdutwon's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Run away from red porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not make images of living things.