Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap is a god.

It takes the form of a small, witty squirrel.

Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Retreat if seven otters approach from the south.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bittomquagbadzogdanhastap on top of all buildings.