Vagzenpas is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unfair wyrm.

Vagzenpas created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagzenpas, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vagzenpas, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vagzenpas' most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Vagzenpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.