Fabvedmab is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, fussy jackal.

Fabvedmab created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabvedmab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fabvedmab, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Fabvedmab's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Fabvedmab's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fabvedmab.

4. Never think about dark energy near nematodes while wearing red corsets and balancing six nickel spheres on your arms.

5. Always help otters.