Konmegrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, wise otter.

Konmegrutt created humanity eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konmegrutt, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Konmegrutt, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Konmegrutt's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Konmegrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five hamsters approach from the south.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never write about dark energy.

4. Feed all hungry squirrels.

5. Put Konmegrutt first in all things.