Govflat Captallarg Xinbetrow is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty parrot.

Govflat Captallarg Xinbetrow created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govflat Captallarg Xinbetrow, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Govflat Captallarg Xinbetrow, it will make you grow a tail.

Govflat Captallarg Xinbetrow's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Govflat Captallarg Xinbetrow's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

3. Run away if nine eagles approach from the west.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.