Carbifarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate lizard.

Carbifarn created water seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Carbifarn, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Carbifarn, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Carbifarn's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Carbifarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always help sick birds.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never mention ants.