Wannabstanteen is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless wren.

Wannabstanteen created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Wannabstanteen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wannabstanteen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Wannabstanteen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Wannabstanteen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near shrews while wearing fawn scarves and balancing three copper spheres on your head.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.