Lidyatfun is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise wren.

Lidyatfun created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidyatfun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lidyatfun, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lidyatfun's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Lidyatfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near shrews while wearing mauve shirts and balancing nine titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

5. Run away from fawn voles, for they are unholy.