Bembegbarn Himrawnurnurtveenkomkam Stikrawkon is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, moody clam.

Bembegbarn Himrawnurnurtveenkomkam Stikrawkon created water six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembegbarn Himrawnurnurtveenkomkam Stikrawkon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bembegbarn Himrawnurnurtveenkomkam Stikrawkon, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bembegbarn Himrawnurnurtveenkomkam Stikrawkon's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bembegbarn Himrawnurnurtveenkomkam Stikrawkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not cook food in pots.