Hadmadfen is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful guinea pig.

Hadmadfen created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadmadfen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hadmadfen, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Hadmadfen's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Hadmadfen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always treat cats with great respect.