Mobyamgess Honpang is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, humorless seal.

Mobyamgess Honpang created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobyamgess Honpang, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Mobyamgess Honpang, he will make you grow a tail.

Mobyamgess Honpang's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Mobyamgess Honpang's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Feed all hungry ants.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.