Hotwigpag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, benevolent eagle.

Hotwigpag created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotwigpag, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hotwigpag, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Hotwigpag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Hotwigpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never talk about horses.

3. Never mention sheep.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Worship no other gods but Hotwigpag.