Gadkindog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring unicorn.

Gadkindog created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadkindog, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gadkindog, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gadkindog's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Gadkindog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Gadkindog must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.