Vaddibarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, amazing gorilla.

Vaddibarn created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vaddibarn, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vaddibarn, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vaddibarn's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vaddibarn's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing green shirts and balancing six aluminium spheres on your hands.

4. Worship no other gods but Vaddibarn.

5. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.