Cimhonved is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless salamander.

Cimhonved created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimhonved, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cimhonved, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cimhonved's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cimhonved's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not hurt monkeys.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Cimhonved on top of all buildings.