Bogmillab is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish lobster.

Bogmillab created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bogmillab, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bogmillab, it will ignore you.

Bogmillab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bogmillab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bogmillab.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Hide from pink ducks for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.