Nutgudtit is a god.

He takes the form of a large, ruthless donkey.

Nutgudtit created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutgudtit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nutgudtit, he will not care at all.

Nutgudtit's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nutgudtit's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never laugh in the presence of geese.

3. Nutgudtit must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about dark matter.