Nulflanlap is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, deceitful giraffe.

Nulflanlap created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulflanlap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nulflanlap, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nulflanlap's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nulflanlap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Nulflanlap.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Always look after injured sheep.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nulflanlap.

5. Never talk about fire.