Cum is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tranquil seal.

Cum created the Virgo Supercluster nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cum, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cum, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Cum's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Cum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow shorts.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cum.

3. Do not hurt monkeys.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing purple trousers and balancing seven gold spheres on your back.