Cipxenbass is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair swallow.

Cipxenbass created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cipxenbass, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cipxenbass, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Cipxenbass' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Cipxenbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt otters.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Cipxenbass in the centre of the settlement.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Cipxenbass on top of all buildings.

4. Never sing in the presence of mice.

5. Never wear shirts.