Gunquaggun is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fussy horse.

Gunquaggun created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunquaggun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gunquaggun, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Gunquaggun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Gunquaggun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. You must love Gunquaggun.