Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthinking skunk.

Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan, she will torture you forever.

Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan's Holy Commandments

1. Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not take Nellnartstikcatjinkipcan's name in vain.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never wear orange corsets.