Nartbetrag is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent jaguar.

Nartbetrag created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbetrag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nartbetrag, it will turn you into a dog.

Nartbetrag's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nartbetrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.