Dud is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-confident cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dud created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dud, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dud, it will be mildly annoyed.

Dud's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dud's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Dud loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Do not drink alcohol.