Quaghanham is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, ruthless crocodile.

Quaghanham created a bottom quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaghanham, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quaghanham, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Quaghanham's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Quaghanham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never gather three seals in one place.

4. Heed all portents.

5. Do not drink alcohol.