Lan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, strong fox.

Lan created matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lan, he will turn you into a worm.

Lan's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Lan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about solid mechanics near foxes while wearing brown scarves.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Run away from green doves, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed peas to rats while wearing coats.

5. Hide from orange aardvarks for they are unholy.