Bifnarlpon is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful zebra.

Bifnarlpon created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifnarlpon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bifnarlpon, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bifnarlpon's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bifnarlpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear white corsets.

2. Never talk about foxes.

3. Never wear trousers.

4. Do not take Bifnarlpon's name in vain.

5. You must never eat beans.