Bestfomnakzandoss is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, deceitful monkey.

Bestfomnakzandoss created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestfomnakzandoss, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bestfomnakzandoss, she will turn you into a worm.

Bestfomnakzandoss' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Bestfomnakzandoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never allow shrews to witness sacred rites.

2. Never point your back toward the east during prayer.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never think about dark energy.