Wigdibwik is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, clever crab.

Wigdibwik created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigdibwik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wigdibwik, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Wigdibwik's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Wigdibwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not hurt mites.