Higkipfub Ominnadfot is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthoughtful jaguar.

Higkipfub Ominnadfot created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Higkipfub Ominnadfot, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Higkipfub Ominnadfot, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Higkipfub Ominnadfot's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Higkipfub Ominnadfot's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. You must love Higkipfub Ominnadfot.

3. Put Higkipfub Ominnadfot first in all things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.