Linsogvil is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, pitiless troll.

Linsogvil created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linsogvil, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Linsogvil, she will think nothing of it.

Linsogvil's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Linsogvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not gather at walls at dusk.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never wear stockings.