Ranstafflis is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, competent troll.

Ranstafflis created the Virgo Supercluster two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ranstafflis, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ranstafflis, it will turn you into a slug.

Ranstafflis' most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Ranstafflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Ranstafflis on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never sit near ants.

5. Never pour water over plants.