Quimfomrat Fudmapgup is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, vain weasel.

Quimfomrat Fudmapgup created the cosmos two years ago.

If you believe in Quimfomrat Fudmapgup, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quimfomrat Fudmapgup, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Quimfomrat Fudmapgup's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Quimfomrat Fudmapgup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Run away from pink aardvarks, for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.