Naklopgon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, generous goblin.

Naklopgon created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Naklopgon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Naklopgon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Naklopgon's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Naklopgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter.

2. Do not keep six grasshopers in a large pit.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not shave your neck.