Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, stupid meerkat.

Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss created Europe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss, she will refuse to believe in you.

Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss' most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about nematodes.

5. You must love Vagfenbatcidrillnillzig Kabgomveensabmutbonkbossbiss.