Sinnartxem is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, omnipotent scorpion.

Sinnartxem created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sinnartxem, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sinnartxem, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Sinnartxem's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sinnartxem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Sinnartxem on top of important buildings.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed cucumbers to swans while wearing scarves.